Help your child get started, then leave them until the estimated time for the assignment has passed. At that time, check in and use questions rather than instructions. The use of questions rather than demands or instructions is so important. Questions put the onus of responsibility on the child, where it should be, and develop important thinking and awareness skills in children because they have to determine the answer for themselves.
Continue this process until the homework is complete. Offer encouraging observations to your child about what you noticed they did skillfully during that homework session. Use the power of exercise — Physical exercise activates the attention and focus center of the brain. It reduces impulsivity and elevates mood. It is ideal for children to have a burst of exercise before they start homework, and many would benefit from mini exercise sessions between assignments.
Imaginary jump rope, jogging in place, jumping jacks, and push-ups against the wall can all be done indoors at the homework area. Homework Refusal — Some children are in a pattern of defiance and power struggles with homework. If you are in intense arguments with your child and trying to force them to complete their homework, you are at least half of the problem. That is good news! Now that you know, you can do a lot about this. I have had children who refuse to do their homework in my office many times.
Each time, I ask them alone what they would do if their parents decided they would not force them to do their homework but would leave it entirely up to them to decide whether or not they would do it. In nearly every case, the child tells me they would do their homework. They do not like the idea of telling their teacher they did not do it, they do not want the consequences in class that their teacher uses, or they do not want to be embarrassed in class.
However, they cannot access these motivations because they are too busy resisting their parents. If you remove that resistance, big change can happen. It looks and sounds like this: You can work it out with your teacher if you decide not to do the work, and I have faith in your to figure it out. I know you are capable and can decide what is best.
I am not comfortable with the TV or computer being used if you decide not to do your homework, but other than that it is up to you.
Oh, you have decided not to do your homework? What does your teacher do when students come to class without it? What will you say to your teacher when she asks you for your homework? Will it have any effect on your grade if you do not do it? What grade do you want to make in that class? When you apply these new principles, it may take some time for your children to adapt and start doing their work for themselves. Focus on communicating your belief in them and being curious about what they want for themselves.
This may mean a full psycho-educational assessment to check for unknown learning or processing disorders, a visit to a therapist to assess emotional issues, or a conference with the school to problem solve. She specializes in treating children with anxiety and explosive behavior, as well as helping families through divorce and providing parenting classes and parent coaching. You must be logged in to post a comment. Try the following strategies and watch homework time improve: How do you feel if after a long day of work you have more work to do when you get home?
Your answer is probably tired, frustrated, annoyed and maybe even worried you do not have what it takes to complete it. It is likely that children who complain about homework are having many of the same feelings. When we are tense about getting everything done and feel pressured to make our child finish homework efficiently, we are unlikely to be empathetic.
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Help for Homework Hassles! Working, caring for siblings after school, participating in extra-curricular activities, watching TV -- all of those things compete with homework for students' after-school time.
a guest post by Tracy McConaghie, LCSW, RPT/S atheneumyg.tk Homework time is dreaded by many families. Children come home.
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